Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want
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- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-06-25 08:53:31
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Nicholas Epley
- ISBN：0241952727
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Summary
You are a mind reader， born with an extraordinary ability to understand what others think， feel， believe， want， and know。 It’s a sixth sense you use every day， in every personal and professional relationship you have。 At its best， this ability allows you to achieve the most important goal in almost any life: connecting， deeply and intimately and honestly， to other human beings。 At its worst， it is a source of misunderstanding and unnecessary conflict， leading to damaged relationships and broken dreams。
How good are you at knowing the minds of others？ How well can you guess what others think of you， know who really likes you， or tell when someone is lying？ How well do you really understand the minds of those closest to you， from your spouse to your kids to your best friends？ Do you really know what your coworkers， employees， competitors， or clients want？
In this illuminating exploration of one of the great mysteries of the human mind， University of Chicago psychologist Nicholas Epley introduces us to what scientists have learned about our ability to understand the most complicated puzzle on the planet—other people—and the surprising mistakes we so routinely make。 Why are we sometimes blind to the minds of others， treating them like objects or animals？ Why do we sometimes talk to our cars， or the stars， as if there is a mind that can hear us？ Why do we so routinely believe that others think， feel， and want what we do when， in fact， they do not？ And why do we believe we understand our spouses， family， and friends so much better than we actually do？ Mindwise will not turn other people into open books， but it will give you the wisdom to revolutionize how you think about them—and yourself。
How good are you at knowing the minds of others？ How well can you guess what others think of you， know who really likes you， or tell when someone is lying？ How well do you really understand the minds of those closest to you， from your spouse to your kids to your best friends？ Do you really know what your coworkers， employees， competitors， or clients want？
In this illuminating exploration of one of the great mysteries of the human mind， University of Chicago psychologist Nicholas Epley introduces us to what scientists have learned about our ability to understand the most complicated puzzle on the planet—other people—and the surprising mistakes we so routinely make。 Why are we sometimes blind to the minds of others， treating them like objects or animals？ Why do we sometimes talk to our cars， or the stars， as if there is a mind that can hear us？ Why do we so routinely believe that others think， feel， and want what we do when， in fact， they do not？ And why do we believe we understand our spouses， family， and friends so much better than we actually do？ Mindwise will not turn other people into open books， but it will give you the wisdom to revolutionize how you think about them—and yourself。
Reviews
Stefan
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Este o carte destul de bine ancorată in realitate însă， pe alocuri， conceptele pot sa devină ambigue。
Barry
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Top notch look into how we make decisions based on partial and biased understandings of ourselves and those around us。 A real challenge to make us think more clearly。
Edrin
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Very accessible read of the psychology behind understanding minds: in ourselves， in others， in inanimate or conceptual objects。
Chelsey Daly
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I really enjoyed and appreciated this book！ Insightful and effortless to read， Epley makes a compelling argument about why our 'sixth sense' or ability to infer what others might be thinking， feeling or wanting helps us as social creatures， but this same mind reading sense， will often miserably fail us。 Epley says it best "Knowing others' minds requires asking and listening， not just reading and guessing。 " This book reminded me that truly understanding others requires humility， an openness to r I really enjoyed and appreciated this book！ Insightful and effortless to read， Epley makes a compelling argument about why our 'sixth sense' or ability to infer what others might be thinking， feeling or wanting helps us as social creatures， but this same mind reading sense， will often miserably fail us。 Epley says it best "Knowing others' minds requires asking and listening， not just reading and guessing。 " This book reminded me that truly understanding others requires humility， an openness to really listening and a recognition that there is so much more to the minds of others than we could ever imagine。 。。。more
Sharon Falduto
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（Read for work） a book about reading other minds--or how we think we can， by thinking we understand their intentions based on actions， when in fact we may not have the full picture。 Basically， it boils down to， the best way to know the other person's intentions and thoughts is to ask。Easily read pop psychology book。 （Read for work） a book about reading other minds--or how we think we can， by thinking we understand their intentions based on actions， when in fact we may not have the full picture。 Basically， it boils down to， the best way to know the other person's intentions and thoughts is to ask。Easily read pop psychology book。 。。。more
Anthony Fiedler
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Similar but better than Gladwell's Talking to Strangers。 Oddly had quite the overlap in examples。 More studies and ultimately it boiled down to understanding people by listening and actually hearing their perspective - not trying to guess as it exacerbates your own context/biases。 Similar but better than Gladwell's Talking to Strangers。 Oddly had quite the overlap in examples。 More studies and ultimately it boiled down to understanding people by listening and actually hearing their perspective - not trying to guess as it exacerbates your own context/biases。 。。。more
Colby
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This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 Takeaway- Your best bet to knowing what others are thinking is to ask。
Alexandre Daly
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This is far and away the best book I've ever read。 In this book he goes point-by-point into how and why we don't understand other people， and often we don't even understand ourselves。 He talks about reasons we don't understand others （distance， dehumanization， neck and lens problems， stereotypes， etc）， and how to better understand others。 The punchline is to remove the distance， ask questions， don't assume， and have the humility to hear。 It's all pretty simple stuff， but it's endlessly compellin This is far and away the best book I've ever read。 In this book he goes point-by-point into how and why we don't understand other people， and often we don't even understand ourselves。 He talks about reasons we don't understand others （distance， dehumanization， neck and lens problems， stereotypes， etc）， and how to better understand others。 The punchline is to remove the distance， ask questions， don't assume， and have the humility to hear。 It's all pretty simple stuff， but it's endlessly compelling， and Nicholas is a fantastic writer。 。。。more
Jerry Wall
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How we understand what others think， believe， fill and want is the subtitle。As we deal with the world and others we regularly， according to multiple studies， misunderstandwhere they are coming from even with the best training and best efforts and best motives。Ways can be used to help but， mostly， we just blunder though even with employing our best thought out empathy。。 。 。 ubuntu; "a person is a person through other persons。 p。 41When others' minds are unknown， the mind you imagine is based heav How we understand what others think， believe， fill and want is the subtitle。As we deal with the world and others we regularly， according to multiple studies， misunderstandwhere they are coming from even with the best training and best efforts and best motives。Ways can be used to help but， mostly， we just blunder though even with employing our best thought out empathy。。 。 。 ubuntu; "a person is a person through other persons。 p。 41When others' minds are unknown， the mind you imagine is based heavily on your own。 p。 111historian Jan Morris 。 。 。 the more I was treated， as a woman， the more woman I became。 p。 129 。。。more
Nataliia
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The importance and need to always recognise an equal brain in another person。
Alex
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This is my second time to read this。 It is thought provoking。
Frederik Dhlu
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Prachtige uiteenzetting over zaken die je vaak wel weet maar toch lijkt uit te schakelen。 Een pleidooi voor echte dialoog ipv het interpreteren van lichaamstaal of perspectiefneming。
Melanie Walker
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This started out strong - about how we think about others， faulty thinking， and how to correct。 Admittedly I started to get a little bored and it seemed to fizzle a bit throughout the end。 It's still helpful to read and offers some very good insights about our faulty conclusions。 Recommend。 This started out strong - about how we think about others， faulty thinking， and how to correct。 Admittedly I started to get a little bored and it seemed to fizzle a bit throughout the end。 It's still helpful to read and offers some very good insights about our faulty conclusions。 Recommend。 。。。more
Will G
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I'll never know anything about anyone。 I'll never know anything about anyone。 。。。more
Cosmin Palagă
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3。5*
Chris Boutté
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Saw some bad reviews of this book， but I picked it up anyways and wasn’t disappointed。 This book is very enlightening about how we suck at reading others and what we can do about it
Celia Reaves
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This is an easy-to-read overview of much of the research in social and cognitive psychology regarding mind reading。 It’s not about some fantasy sixth sense or ESP， but the very real dilemmas we all face every day as we try to understand the feelings， thoughts， motivations， and intentions of other people—and even ourselves。 Epley describes all the ways in which we tend to get our judgments wrong and gives some hints about how to get better at this essential skill。 Suitable for undergraduate stude This is an easy-to-read overview of much of the research in social and cognitive psychology regarding mind reading。 It’s not about some fantasy sixth sense or ESP， but the very real dilemmas we all face every day as we try to understand the feelings， thoughts， motivations， and intentions of other people—and even ourselves。 Epley describes all the ways in which we tend to get our judgments wrong and gives some hints about how to get better at this essential skill。 Suitable for undergraduate students in these areas of psychology， or anyone who wants to be a better mind reader。 。。。more
Лена Берштейн
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Николас Эпли «Интуиция。 Как понять， что чувствуют， думают и хотят другие люди» - спойлер: никак， пока они сами тебе не скажут。 Если они еще выберут сказать тебе правду。 В книге описано， основываясь на чем мы делаем свои предположения касательно мыслей других людей。 Также указано， как избежать этих ошибок и выстроить общение。
Dr。 Tobias Christian Fischer
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To understand another person's thoughts， we can try to take their perspective。 But one gets distracted by selfishness and stereotypes - this happens easily and often unconsciously。 The best way to understand your fellow human beings is to just ask and talk to them （Blinkist， 2020）。 To understand another person's thoughts， we can try to take their perspective。 But one gets distracted by selfishness and stereotypes - this happens easily and often unconsciously。 The best way to understand your fellow human beings is to just ask and talk to them （Blinkist， 2020）。 。。。more
Bailey
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I cannot recommend this book enough！ Mind-blowing psychology。 It's changed the way I think and the way I interact with other human beings。 I cannot recommend this book enough！ Mind-blowing psychology。 It's changed the way I think and the way I interact with other human beings。 。。。more
Alicia
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Excellent coverage of how we misunderstand others' thoughts and motivations。 Excellent coverage of how we misunderstand others' thoughts and motivations。 。。。more
Himanshu Inamdar
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Mindwise begins with a description of itself that pulls you in right from the start， “How we understand what others think， believe， feel and want。” The author Nicholas Epley， who is a professor of behavioural psychology at the University Of Chicago Booth School Of Business， quotes Marcel Proust as we begin the journey to discover our real sixth sense， the ability to perceive what goes on in the minds of others。 “The only true voyage of discovery， the only fountain of Eternal Youth， would be not Mindwise begins with a description of itself that pulls you in right from the start， “How we understand what others think， believe， feel and want。” The author Nicholas Epley， who is a professor of behavioural psychology at the University Of Chicago Booth School Of Business， quotes Marcel Proust as we begin the journey to discover our real sixth sense， the ability to perceive what goes on in the minds of others。 “The only true voyage of discovery， the only fountain of Eternal Youth， would be not to visit strange lands but to possess other eyes， to behold the universe through the eyes of another。”To improve something， we must first understand the faults in it。 And that is exactly how the author begins。 He points out that our understanding of human minds， beginning from our own， is flawed。 And the problem begins because we think we do understand。 Even while dealing with our own minds， we are only aware of the finished products， that is beliefs， intentions and feelings， but we are unaware of the process that went into their making， unaware of the thousands of small factors that consciously and unconsciously affected the process。 When it comes to reading other minds， it gets even more complicated， because there’s an additional layer of complexity to sort through。 We perceive others’ thoughts only through the façade of their bodies， faces and language。 Even if the thoughts are conveyed without any intention of deception， unravelling the precise emotion behind them is very hard， because again， the process that went behind it is unknown。 And our ability to spot deception is not much more accurate than random guessing。 He shows that through the results of a number of experiments。The next part of the book deals with how we see the existence of minds where there are essentially none， that is， we anthropomorphise objects， because unconsciously， we explain some of the behaviour of an object by thinking that it has a mind of its own。 An example of this is how we beg our car to start when it simply refuses to do so。 However， when it does work perfectly， it’s just a mindless machine。 He goes on to show the problems that occur when we fail to engage our sixth sense， that is， we fail to recognise other minds as equal to our own。 This is essentially dehumanisation。 We cannot empathise with others without this ability。 He tells the story of the court case of Standing Bear， a Native American chief of the Ponca tribe， and his moving monologue which made those unable to recognise a sentient mind before them to see it。The third part deals with seeing the state another mind is in。 “People using ambiguous mediums think they are communicating clearly because they know what they mean to say， receivers are unable to get this meaning accurately but are certain that they have interpreted the message accurately， and both are amazed that the other side can be so stupid。” There are two main problems。 Firstly， what he calls the neck problem， that is， two people who are talking look at different things， necks looking in different directions。 The second problem is the lens problem， even if two people are looking at the same thing， they evaluate it through the lens of their own perspective。 These perspectives are subconsciously reinforced by stereotypes。 We rely too much upon them。 We draw too much insight from too little information because of stereotyping。 The author further goes on to show that it isn’t always true that observed behaviour reflects intentions。 “Only a fool would infer that a person who slips on an icy sidewalk wanted to fall， but the contextual forces that contribute to our successes and stumbles are routinely less obvious than ice on a sidewalk。” The context is rarely visible and is a big influence which is generally ignored。The last part of the book talks about how and how not to be a better mind reader。 Reading body language and taking perspectives are useful only upto an extent， and instead they sometimes exacerbate the problem because of the lens flaw。 So what is the best way to read minds and understand perspectives？ Ask， that’s it。 “Others’ minds will never be an open book。 The secret to understanding each other better seems to come not through an increased ability to read body language or improved perspective taking but， rather， through the hard relational work of putting people in a position where they can tell you their minds openly and honestly。” That is the best way to bypass these problems and get a realistic view of what is going on in others’ minds。The book summarises by telling us that even though our sixth sense is a magnificent tool， recognising its limitations makes it even better。 It gives us the humility to understand others as they actually are instead of how we imagine them to be。 In short， the book presents us with a series of eye-openers， one after the other， about the limits of the accuracy of our sixth sense， supported by the solid results of numerous psychological experiments and points out that the best way to know others’ minds is the most obvious one， just ask。 。。。more
Mohammed
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I love how the author describe the mind reading skill。
Otekinin Hikayesi
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“Aklıselim” insan zihninin nasıl çalıştığını， insan algısının ne denli benmerkezci olduğunu， “ötekinin” hayatımızda ne kadar fazla yer kapladığını anlatıyor。 Sürekli başkalarının zihnini okuyoruz。 Peki gerçekten okuyabiliyor muyuz？ Yoksa düşüncelerimiz sadece yorumlardan mı ibaret？ İnsanlar bizi gerçekten sandığımız gibi mi görüyor？ Başkalarının gözünde sandığımız kadar önemli miyiz？ En önemlisi， beynimizi ne kadar kontrol edebiliyoruz？ gibi sorulara bazı ilginç deneylerle cevap bulmaya çalışan “Aklıselim” insan zihninin nasıl çalıştığını， insan algısının ne denli benmerkezci olduğunu， “ötekinin” hayatımızda ne kadar fazla yer kapladığını anlatıyor。 Sürekli başkalarının zihnini okuyoruz。 Peki gerçekten okuyabiliyor muyuz？ Yoksa düşüncelerimiz sadece yorumlardan mı ibaret？ İnsanlar bizi gerçekten sandığımız gibi mi görüyor？ Başkalarının gözünde sandığımız kadar önemli miyiz？ En önemlisi， beynimizi ne kadar kontrol edebiliyoruz？ gibi sorulara bazı ilginç deneylerle cevap bulmaya çalışan kitap insan davranışının psikolojisine odaklanıyor。。📕Davranış psikolojisi， beyin， ötekinin hayatımızdaki yeri ve anlamı， algıların işleyişi gibi konulara ilgili duyan， genel olarak popüler bilim üzerine yazılan yazıları okumaktan keyif alan okurların seveceği bir kitap。。📌[…] 𝒃𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒂𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒊𝒛𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒂𝒌𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒛𝒅𝒂 𝒏𝒆 𝒅𝒖𝒔𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒖𝒈𝒖𝒏𝒖 𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒎𝒆𝒌， 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒛 𝒛𝒊𝒉𝒏𝒊𝒚𝒍𝒆 𝒊𝒍𝒈𝒊𝒍𝒊 𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒎𝒆𝒌 𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒛 𝒆𝒏 𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒌 𝒔𝒆𝒚𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒊 𝒈𝒊𝒃𝒊 𝒈𝒐𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒎𝒆𝒌𝒕𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒓。 𝑩𝒊𝒓 𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒂 [。。。] 𝒃𝒊𝒓 𝒈𝒓𝒖𝒑𝒕𝒂𝒏， 𝒃𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒂𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏 𝒛𝒊𝒉𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝒈𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒊 𝒈𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒛𝒊 𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒂𝒚𝒂𝒏 𝒃𝒊𝒓 "𝒃𝒆𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒐𝒔𝒌𝒐𝒑" 𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕 𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒈𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒛𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒚𝒂𝒍 𝒆𝒕𝒎𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒊 𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒌。 𝑲𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒎𝒄𝒊𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒛𝒅𝒂𝒏 𝒃𝒖 𝒄𝒊𝒉𝒂𝒛𝒊𝒏 𝒃𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒂𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏 𝒏𝒆 𝒅𝒖𝒔𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒖𝒈𝒖𝒏𝒖 𝒗𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒊 𝒌𝒖𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒖𝒛 𝒃𝒊𝒓 𝒅𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒖𝒌𝒍𝒂 𝒂𝒏𝒍𝒂𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒊 𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒚𝒂𝒍 𝒆𝒕𝒎𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒊 𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒂 𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒌。 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒓𝒂 𝒌𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒎𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒂 𝒃𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒐𝒔𝒌𝒐𝒃𝒖 𝒌𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏 𝒖𝒛𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒆 𝒌𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒎𝒂𝒌 𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒎𝒆𝒌 𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒌𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒊 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒖𝒌。 𝑩𝒊𝒛𝒊 𝒃𝒊𝒓 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒂 𝒔𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒏 𝒏𝒐𝒌𝒕𝒂， 𝒌𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒎𝒄𝒊𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏 𝒛𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒊𝒏， 𝒖𝒏𝒍𝒖 𝒚𝒂 𝒅𝒂 𝒈𝒖𝒄𝒍𝒖 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏 𝒛𝒊𝒉𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒊 𝒂𝒏𝒍𝒂𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒍𝒂 𝒊𝒍𝒈𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒍𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒚𝒅𝒊。 𝑩𝒖𝒏𝒖𝒏 𝒚𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒃𝒖𝒚𝒖𝒌 𝒄𝒐𝒈𝒖𝒏𝒍𝒖𝒈𝒖 𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏， 𝒐𝒛𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒍𝒆 𝒆𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏 𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒓𝒕 𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒌𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒊 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏， 𝒂𝒚𝒏𝒊 𝒛𝒂𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒂 𝒅𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏， 𝒂𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒖𝒚𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏 𝒗𝒆 𝒌𝒐𝒎𝒔𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏 𝒛𝒊𝒉𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊。 𝑰𝒔𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒍𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒄 𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒇𝒊， 𝒎𝒖𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒏 𝒆𝒏 𝒊𝒚𝒊 𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒅𝒊𝒌𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒊 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏 𝒛𝒊𝒉𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒌𝒎𝒂 𝒊𝒉𝒕𝒊𝒚𝒂𝒄𝒊 𝒅𝒖𝒚𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒊。 𝑲𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒎𝒄𝒊𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏 𝒆𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒌 𝒈𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒆𝒌 𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒈𝒊 𝒔𝒆𝒚， 𝒃𝒖 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒂𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒌𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒂 𝒏𝒆 𝒅𝒖𝒔𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒖𝒈𝒖𝒚𝒅𝒖。 。。。more
Setareh Keyhani
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❝The main problem is that we think we understand the minds of others， and even our own mind， better than we actually do。❞I truly this quote。 Also， this is a helpful book to understand people well。
hiaa123
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I can't stand when people make assumptions about my thoughts and feelings （they always state it so confidently and are never close to the truth！） so I loved this book （confirmation bias， anyone？）。Epley's writing is engaging and accessible。 I was interested in the studies and anecdotes he provided to support his arguments。While a lot of the information Epley shares is supposedly common knowledge， it's also very easy to forget and people are constantly falling back into these same patterns of ster I can't stand when people make assumptions about my thoughts and feelings （they always state it so confidently and are never close to the truth！） so I loved this book （confirmation bias， anyone？）。Epley's writing is engaging and accessible。 I was interested in the studies and anecdotes he provided to support his arguments。While a lot of the information Epley shares is supposedly common knowledge， it's also very easy to forget and people are constantly falling back into these same patterns of stereotyping， judging， and misunderstanding others。 This is a book to come back to when in need of some humility。 It's so easy to forget that every person has an inner life that is just as rich as our own。 I didn't appreciate Epley's take on pets being anthropomorphized。 I hope my cat feels and loves me！ Though I guess I sort of see what he intended to do there， he's not advocating for inhumane treatment of animals but being relatively unbiased about our relationships with animals as food and friends。And while I admit to mostly reading this book to feel vindicated about other people's overconfidence and false perceptions about my own inner life， I was also forced to see Epley's point that humans naturally fill in the gaps with their own interpretations when they don't have all the information。 So if people are constantly assuming things about me， it's definitely my own fault for not expressing myself to them。 （But why are they always so smug and self-assured？）"。。。those who were more open about themselves to others were not only better understood but also happier and more satisfied with their lives in general than those who kept their minds more hidden。" Hopefully， we can all remember to be more willing to listen to others and more receptive to different perspectives before just painting them as evil villains。 I think overall， I'm pretty good at that， to the point where I often feel paralyzed by my ability to empathize with all sides of any given conflict。 Lack of humility has never been a huge weakness for me。 I do need to work on being more willing to allow others to understand me though。 Anyway， I definitely recommend this book， even to those who feel like they already know all this。 Because humans are prone to forgetting。 And it never hurts to be reminded of other people's humanity。Spoiler alert: The secret to reading minds is honest communication ;） 。。。more
Mike Cheng
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The book’s introduction claims to help us learn to better reason about the minds of others （crediting this ability with being a uniquely human skill）。 The rest of the book， however， focuses on reminding us that humans are generally bad at mindreading， as we are excessively egocentric （see naive realism）， rely too much on stereotyping， and always assume that a person’s acts reflects their mindset and desire （ignoring the role of context）。 All valid points of course， but there could have been more The book’s introduction claims to help us learn to better reason about the minds of others （crediting this ability with being a uniquely human skill）。 The rest of the book， however， focuses on reminding us that humans are generally bad at mindreading， as we are excessively egocentric （see naive realism）， rely too much on stereotyping， and always assume that a person’s acts reflects their mindset and desire （ignoring the role of context）。 All valid points of course， but there could have been more discussion about how to improve on this valuable skill。 。。。more
Aviana Gedler
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I find it ironic how so many people disliked this book because of how it explains what our brains so often do wrong， because that stems from a lot of the egocentric bias Epley explores in his book。 Going off of that， I think this book was a very well-written almost slap-in-the-face， necessary reminder of how I think too much of myself， BUT that it’s completely normal。 This book says if you want to understand other people better， build promising relationships and a stable social life， it’s not at I find it ironic how so many people disliked this book because of how it explains what our brains so often do wrong， because that stems from a lot of the egocentric bias Epley explores in his book。 Going off of that， I think this book was a very well-written almost slap-in-the-face， necessary reminder of how I think too much of myself， BUT that it’s completely normal。 This book says if you want to understand other people better， build promising relationships and a stable social life， it’s not attainable with only yourself。 The human brain isn’t wired to fully understand other people， even those we know closest， without clear and honest communication。 This all seemed obvious to me before reading， but the detail offered throughout the book made it an urgent idea to apply to my life。I give 4-stars because some avoidable bias I didn’t agree with seemed to sneak its way in at times from the author， but it’s his book so he can do whatever he wants。 。。。more
Emilia
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Es un libro de divulgación fácil de leer。 El secreto de entender a otros es conversando con ellos， conociéndolos， no asumiendo o adivinando lo que les pasa。 Una lectura interesante para recordarnos que la mayoría de las veces mal entendemos al otro aunque creamos que lo conocemos perfectamente bien。
Tomas
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